Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Your personality needs alcohol.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.