Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
I really have to stop using this little microphone on my phone that types whatever you say as it keeps making mistakes punctuation point
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.