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It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
Whoever says "you need two to tango" obviously hasn`t seen me drunk.
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.