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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.