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I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode