Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
What number SPF blocks people?
Is it wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter baskets?
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy