Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.