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I love running my fingers through my girlfriend`s hair. It`s also a great way to let her know we`re out of napkins.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?