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For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?