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Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.