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My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
Bacon...need I say more
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don`t. So, from now on I`m only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."