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That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
Woke up to my teen cleaning the house for "no reason" and now I have a mystery to solve.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
I like to go to a strangers house tell them you used to live there and that your grandfather hid money somewhere in the house and just leave.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
It´s never to late to be happy
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.