Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
When I`m all out of alcohol...haha! Just kidding! I`d never let that scenario become a reality.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
Next time you ride on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and just as it starts to move, tap the person in front of you and say, "these just fell out of your seat."