Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
My new home security sign : "EBOLA QUARANTINE" - Deters salesman, thieves, and neighbors.
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.