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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
What number SPF blocks people?
This day needs more tomfoolery!
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun