Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Cannibals don`t drink coffee ... They have a cup of Joe instead.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.