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Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
It’s not a nap unless your face wakes up in a puddle of your own drool.
Anything is legal when there`s no police around