Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm ... So I peed on her
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
Called AA by mistake. Those drunks can`t change a tire for sh*t.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn`t reply to my last 43 inbox messages & then you updated about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...