Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Iām tired of things costing money.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...