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You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.