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Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
Billion dollar idea: Make a prescription drug that gets rid of the side effects of all the other prescription drugs.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.