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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.