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Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.