Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
If you play my day at work backwards, its about an idiot getting less and less annoying
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."