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What number SPF blocks people?
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie