Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
I like it like that
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
I Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing