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Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!