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I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters on poles.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I’m pretty good at keeping my sh!t together. Until there’s a bee around.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman