Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.