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I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.