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My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it`s wide use three fingers, make sure it`s wet and rub up and down. Yep that`s how you wash a cup.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable applications of high explosives.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
They should make Vodka ChapStick
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying