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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is "notice anything different?"
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.