Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
This lady thinks repeatedly pushing the already-lit elevator button will summon it faster. I think I’ll push ALL the buttons when we get in.
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?