Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
I always get naked before I get in bed so I don`t know why this lady at Sears is giving me a dirty look in the mattress section.
I don`t know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...