Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I`m already up to 3 times a day"
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.