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So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
I was born at a very early age.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
It should really be called teethpaste.
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!