Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator. Hahaha I’m so sorry. No I’m not.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.