Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... IΒ΄m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
House cleaning would go a lot faster if the spray bottles made laser gun sounds
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a β€˜Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face