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Spoiler alert: this milk expired five days ago
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?
I play hard to get along with.