Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.