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My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.