Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it’s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can’t really touch anything.
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
The fox says you need to stop.
I’m better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
life is short play naked
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
Being alive is so expensive.
Single, means never having to say you`re sorry.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.