Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
When I said make yourself at home, I meant go wash my dishes.
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor`s yard to cut it down is an art.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Don`t wait until you`re on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel because you could be too weak to raise your middle finger.