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If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
I always walk through my office with a stern look on my face and a toilet plunger to avoid conversations.
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.