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If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
I tried to be a Rap Singer once. Sadly my rap album, `I Respect the Police & the Risks They Take to Keep My Community Safe`, didn`t do too well on iTunes.
By the time I’ve said “Nice to meet you” I’ve already forgotten your name.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective