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Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?