Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
I just saw a giant spider in my room so I sprayed it with hairspray. It`s not dead, but its hair looks fabulous.
Falling in love is like watching a sexy person eat hot, crispy bacon and wanting to eat some, too. Marriage is like listening to them chew.
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.