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If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...