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To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
I have nothing!
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy