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You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!