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I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(