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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"