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"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I`m 82.
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it`s okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich