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“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
Me:"I had a dream about you." Girlfriend:"Awwwwww." Me:"Yeah, you died."
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you`re 3 and your parents are idiots.