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I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.