Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.