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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
I cant wait to show everyone at work my new cough
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship