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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happened to me, only with beer.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as "doing some undercover work"
I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I`m bored.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.