Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
The boss said I should let my creative juices flow. What he doesn’t know is that my creative juices are vodka and cranberry.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.