Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone`s throat.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
Last person to like this wins a prize.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5