Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable?
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
This is not the status message you are looking for .... Move along
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.