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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
I used to care what you thought of me, then I remembered what I thought of you.
Is it just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message like looking directly into the sun?
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!