Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.