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The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Your secret is safe with me as long as it`s boring.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.