Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.