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It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
I always write `wake up` on my to-do-list so I can at least accomplish one thing a day