Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.